mindset

The Illusion of Money

October 5, 2019 By Kat

Everyone’s got a complex relationship with money and has their own money story. I believe that healing our money story will move us past our limiting beliefs so we can start to step into all that we are capable of.

If you spend energy worrying about money or the scarcity of it, I highly recommend watching this documentary on the Illusion of Money by Kyle Cease.

It makes you feel even more expansive and limitless in your abilities and potential. He says most people act like time is unlimited and money is limited when in reality it’s the opposite; time is limited and money is unlimited. Zing!

It’s a great perspective shift on life and money. I believe your life will be better after watching this. Just sign up below to access it for free.

https://kylecease.com/movie/

Fearing Happiness

August 20, 2019 By Kat

What a triggering title. I’m almost afraid to write this post, which is why it must be written! Anyhow, this thought (of me fearing happiness) flashed across my mind the other day. I was thinking about how many great blessings I have in my life, yet how I feel a constant worry or anxiety beneath it all. Through some self-reflection, this is how I’ve come to explain it.

I think I somehow developed this habit or fear of getting too excited about something because I had this misconception that if I actually felt happiness, then it would soon be followed by a crash or something bad happening.

You know the quote, “what goes up must come down” and vice versa. I suppose this is a comforting thought when you’re down in the dumps because then you know it’ll only get better from there. But somehow my mind played tricks on me and got me to believe that if I accepted being on a high / being at the top of that curve / being happy, then I would be caught off guard and surprised by some tragic event.

And since I didn’t want anything terrible to happen, I never allowed myself to be happy for sustained periods of time and to finally relax into that happiness. I can only describe it as being hesitant to be happy.

Even recognizing this fear of happiness has helped me acknowledge and move past this unhealthy thought. When you can become conscious of what’s going on and can realize how silly a thought actually is, then you can rebuttal it.

And in this case, when I catch myself falling into this habit or coming up with unnecessary things to worry about or feel bad about, then I can respond to myself with: “No. That isn’t a problem. And it’s okay to be happy.” Usually this thought will be followed by a deep breath to relax into the feeling of “everything will be okay.”

It’s almost like giving yourself permission to be happy. And no one can give this to us except ourselves.

What do you think? Have you ever got stuck in this type of mentality before?

My Documentary:
Finding What’s Real (watch on YouTube)

My Word of the Year for 2019

January 27, 2019 By Kat

I wanted to pick out a word-of-the-year. One thing to focus on for the year. But I couldn’t decide which word to pick!

Top contenders:

Massive action – phrase borrowed from Tony Robbins on how to take charge of your life and achieve your goals.
Focus – self-explanatory, we could all use more focus and less distractions.

However, I realized that “massive action” was not working for me because I kept trying to pile more things onto my plate and keep moving in many directions, making little progress on any one thing.

I also realized that “focus” was too narrow of a word for me. It didn’t excite or motivate me that much. The word made me think of limited options and a smaller focus area. It wasn’t very invigorating to wake up and feel like you must focus for the day. Felt more obligatory for me personally.

But then I was listening to this amazing motivational YouTube video Live Your Dreams over and over again. Then I decided on my word for 2019.

Courage

I believe that the word “courage” will steer me in the right direction at each step of the way during this year. Courage means doing the hard thing. Doing a single hard thing can give you more progress than doing 100 easy things in the wrong directions.

Oftentimes the “hard thing” is the right thing to do, and probably the thing that we fear and dread the most. But that’s when we stand to have the biggest gain both in potential external results but also in who we become as a person.

If I have to measure each day, then I’ll need to ask myself, if I did things that required courage each day. It freaks me out thinking that I’ll need to face a fear each day, but if I don’t, what is at stake? If I don’t face a fear today, if I just stay in my comfort zone, then I’ll likely stay the same. I won’t have grown that day.

Sure, one day without growth is no big deal. But if you multiple that by 7 days in a week, spent hiding and procrastinating from your fears, that’s one week of your life gone by that you didn’t grow. And then a month passes by, and you didn’t grow. You make more excuses about why it’s “safe” to stay where it’s comfortable. And then years pass by, and you’ve settled for even more things and you’ve come up with a laundry list of why it’s too hard to change now. And then life send you a wake-up call that you are ill prepared for because this whole time, you didn’t grow into a stronger, better person. You’re essentially the same person as you were 5 years ago.

The Movie: Revolutionary Road

Another way to think about this sobering thought is illustrated in the movie: Revolutionary Road. (This movie reunited Kate Winslet and Leonardo DioCaprio on the big screen since Titanic. Omg I just had to watch it! It’s available on Amazon Prime if you’re interested.)

It’s about April and Frank Wheeler (played by Kate and Leo respectively), who are a married couple in the 1950s living with 2 young kids in Connecticut. They live in a picture-perfect neighborhood in a picture-perfect house. He goes to an office job, while she stays at home to take care of the house and kids. The problem is that their life is on autopilot. They had ambitions when they were younger (her to be an actress, him to go back to Paris – a city he loved) but then they settled into married suburban life and those dreams got put on the backburner. They get so numb with their life and by staying static, and as the movie unfolds, they actually find that there are consequences. I won’t go into details in case you want to go watch it.

Honestly, it was a depressing movie, but I can’t help but find how truthful it is. Staying still in life is so tempting because it seems safe (it’s what you already know and are familiar with), but it is actually the riskiest option. But we can’t see the consequences until the long term, and by then, it may be too late to change our choices.

Many people are dead now. Many people are allowing their dreams to die. Many people have allowed their ideas to lie dormant and collect dust. Many people have all this talent and ability that they allow to be buried inside of them, that they will take to their graves. Because they didn’t have the courage to be who they are.”
Les Brown

Thoughts on Courage

Courage is hard. There’s so many uncertainties and things to fear and worry about in the world.

Does it mean that valiant people are not afraid? No, it means they experience that fear and they move forward.”
Les Brown

What I’ve been trying to do is feel the fear. To feel the trembling fear when I’m about to do something I’m scared to do. And then to acknowledge it and DECIDE that I will do it anyways. And the quicker I do it, the less painful it will be because I won’t have to agonize over all the worst case scenarios.

Cowards die many times before their deaths, The valiant never taste of death but once.”
Shakespeare (Julius Caesar)

I’m far from perfect, and still very much working on being brave. It’s daunting because just as every day is a new day, every day you’re faced with a choice of whether you will be brave or not. And I hope that for me and you, we both decide to be brave.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNgIvxZ4m8U

Disclaimer: I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

Why Life is like Leaning In For a First Kiss

October 11, 2018 By Kat

THE FIRST KISS

In the movie Hitch, Will Smith plays a dating coach named Hitch, who teaches guys how to win over the woman of their dreams. It’s a fun romantic comedy, and there’s a scene where Hitch is teaching Albert about the art of the first kiss. Hilarious clip here.

They talk about the 90-10 rule, where Hitch says, “The secret to a kiss is to go 90% of the way, and then hold… Hold for as long as it takes, for her to come the other 10.”

Hitch explains that most guys make the mistake of going all in, at 100%, while his technique makes the girl work for it. With his move, the guy should be so irresistible that the girl leans in at least 10% for the first kiss.

LIFE LESSON

I think of this scene as an analogy for life, except we are the ones receiving the kiss, and we have to go the 10%.

I think about this a lot because I feel like life is giving me all these signs. First of all I have to be observant about them – or be quiet / reflective enough to realize these signs. The signs can include: go talk to this person, or go to this event, or write / create a video about this topic. There’s all these things that I get hinted about. And I write them down, but sometimes I don’t have time to get to them. Or maybe I get too intimidated and don’t want to follow up on them. But then we don’t get the results we’re hoping for.

ENTREPRENEUR

I think the mistaken belief I had as a new author and new entrepreneur was that good things would just come to me automatically – at 100%. I believed that they would just land in my lap.

What I’ve realized over the last year is that we must take that 10% step to meet life halfway – or not even halfway. Life already brings good things into our life, but we still need to take initiative to grasp them and make them ours.

For example, life will plant a seed in my mind about a certain event to go to. It may be through the form of an email in my inbox about the event, or it may come up when talking to someone. Then my curiosity is piqued. Then it’s me to register for the event on time, and then to get dressed and show up to the event. Life / fate / God can’t magically transport me to the event. I have to put in the effort to get myself to the event. What ends up happening is I meet someone new or something positive happens, and I’m glad I went!

SELF-DOUBT HOLDS US BACK

What makes the process difficult is that sometimes we’re tired and we don’t want to take that step towards our goals, or sometimes we’re too overwhelmed by self-doubt. For scarier opportunities that require more visibility, we may feel like we’re not ready for them and we’d rather hide in the shadows than be seen.

So I think sometimes our mind will rationalize all these excuses and try to talk ourselves OUT of going.

COMMITTMENT

And I think that’s where commitment comes in. Being committed enough to our dreams and goals, means that we are willing to do whatever it takes to seize each opportunity as it comes.

Because unlike the first kiss strategy, “the guy” or “the opportunity” won’t always wait forever. Sometimes the opportunity is only available for a limited time window, and then disappears. And all you get left with is regret for not acting soon enough.

I feel the tides are turning. I’m realizing the signs that God has given me, and that it’s really my choice and responsibility to act on them. Some days, He will give me wonderful surprises all the way, but I think He wants me to work for it and to learn what’s really involved in building a successful business from the ground up. There’s a long road ahead and I’m going to need lots of bravery and guts.

I’m going to say it here, so I am publicly accountable: Regardless of my doubts and fears, I commit to leaning in to life. Hurrah!

Thanks for reading. XOXO

Is there a time in your life where an opportunity came up and you had to lean in to accept it?

September Favorites

October 9, 2018 By Kat

These are my favorites for the month of September 2018!

1. Pur Water filter – 18 cup capacity.

2. Crest White strips

3. Everlane Cotton Box-Cut Pocket Tee – Muted Pink. I got size XXS.

4. The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. I listened to the audiobook version.

5. KKW beauty

Nude Creme Lipstick – Nude 5

Nude Lip Liner – Nude 2

I also mentioned the EM cosmetics brand Rose Nude Infinite Lip Cloud.

6. Morning motivation YouTube videos

Just do a youtube search on “morning motivation.” Example: Live Your Dreams.

Thanks for reading and watching!

Keep an eye out for my blogpost soon about the author talk with Kevin Kwan from the book Crazy Rich Asians.

And register to vote if you haven’t already!!

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